Blair Waldorf Quotes

Season 4, Episode 11: "The Townie"
Blair: See, I told you road trips are strictly for Humphreys.
• Rating: 10.0 / 10 • Permalink
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Dan: That's your plan? Disguises and accents?
Blair: I never said anything about accents ... Can you do any?
• Rating: 10.0 / 10 • Permalink
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Blair: What are you still doing here? Shouldn't you be off living your dream? Days on end in a real car with Serena?
Dan: No. I'm staying here. So actually I'll be living out my nightmare. Trapped in the city with only Blair Waldorf to talk to.
• Rating: 10.0 / 10 • Permalink
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Dan: See I told you. Food is more delicious when you cook it yourself.
Nate: Yup. That's why we're going to end this experiment in middle class living and then call the housekeeper to clean up.
Blair: No way! I stuck my hand up a turkey's butt. You're not getting out of your job.
• Rating: 10.0 / 10 • Permalink
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Blair: Clearly she's drugged Serena again! Dan, write a list of everything Damien said that he sold to Juliet. [to Nate] And you. Look at the list and tell us which one of those drugs causes you to repeatedly trust psychopaths.
• Rating: 10.0 / 10 • Permalink
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Blair: Never to be realized literary aspirations: check. Townie: you're from Brooklyn, so check. And giving up everything to became Serena van der Woodsen's stalker? Check. Face it Humphrey, you are one knitted tie away from Mr. Donovan territory.
• Rating: 10.0 / 10 • Permalink
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Blair: Look, I think I figured it out. Okay, Serena had an affair with her teacher because, let's face it, it's Serena and what else is there to do in Connecticut. Then she came to her senses and discarded him like last season's Chanel booties. Then he became a crazy stalker and Serena pressed charges. That should be a warning to you, Humphrey.
Dan: Yeah, because the parallels are striking.
• Rating: 10.0 / 10 • Permalink
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Blair: Oh. At least he's owning it.
• Rating: 9.0 / 10 • Permalink
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Blair: We should almost be there. Let me just consult the GPS. Oh wait. That's me.
• Rating: 10.0 / 10 • Permalink
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Blair: Is the pedal to the metal? Because I swear if I shove my feet through the floor I could run faster. At least there's no radio so I'm spared your horrid taste in music. I think we were supposed to turn there.
Dan: You know I'd tell you to stop being such a back seat driver but how can you be one when you don't even know how to drive.
Blair: I offered to get us a car service. Professional driver, comfortable seats, champagne!
Dan: We're on a mission here.
• Rating: 9.7 / 10 • Permalink
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Season 4, Episode 10: "Gaslit"
Lily: Oh! Blair, Dorota. What are you doing here?
Blair: Just bringing a little tradition. I'm spending the holidays with Daddy and Roman in Paris. I figured since we usually spend this day together that, you know, um... Is Serena here?
We thought she was with you.
Blair: No, I haven't seen her since Chuck's party. She never came home.
Eric: Okay, alright. Now I'm worried.
Lily: Charles?
Chuck: She's not at The Empire.
Lily: Well then where the hell is she?
• Rating: Unrated • Permalink
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Chuck: I should have asked Lily if you were coming. I can leave if you'd like.
Blair: Don't be silly, I was just headed to JFK. But even if I wasn't we should get used to little run-ins like these. I mean if Bruce and Demi can do it it can't be that difficult.
• Rating: 9.0 / 10 • Permalink
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Blair: What are you doing here?
Chuck: Thanksgiving. The only day of the year it's acceptable to eat dinner before eight.
Blair: Oh. Of course, right. Thanksgiving.
Dorota: We bring pie.
• Rating: 9.0 / 10 • Permalink
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Blair: Why aren't you excited for me? You know how much I love Paris in Autumn.
Dorota: With everything that's happened with Mr. Chuck and Miss Serena I also know that you want to get out of the Dodge.
Blair: "Out of Dodge." It's a place not a pick-up truck.
• Rating: Unrated • Permalink
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Season 4, Episode 9: "The Witches of Bushwick"
Blair: [to Dorota] I see your brain trying to translate the implications from Polish.
• Rating: 10.0 / 10 • Permalink
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Blair: As long as I'm with you, I'm Hillary in the White House. And I want to be Hillary, Secretary of State. Except with better hair.
• Rating: 10.0 / 10 • Permalink
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Chuck: Nothing like a friendly benefit to start a day of meetings about getting the Empire back on top.
Blair: You do thrive in that position. I'm sure your Black and White ball for the hotel association will remind them of that.
• Rating: 8.5 / 10 • Permalink
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Chuck: Look at Brad and Angelina. They take turns on top!
Blair: But Angelina won an Oscar first.
• Rating: 10.0 / 10 • Permalink
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Chuck: Apparently rules are there to be broken. We CAN have it all.
Blair: No. You can.
• Rating: 10.0 / 10 • Permalink
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Blair: My black Balenciaga will be perfect to publicly condemn you.
Chuck: I love poplin.
Blair: I love condemnation.
Chuck: I love you.
Blair: [pause] Of course no one does black like Dior.
• Rating: 10.0 / 10 • Permalink
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Season 4, Episode 9: "The Witches of Bushwick"
Blair: As for your devoted suitors, have you finally decided whom to crush?
Serena: No, and I have feeling for both. I don't want to hurt either. I have a whole new appreciation for Big Love.
Blair: Well. Even in Utah only the men get to have more than one spouse. Which, I've come to realize, is extremely sexist.
• Rating: 9.5 / 10 • Permalink
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Blair: Don't look at me like that. You're the one that's black and white and read all over.
• Rating: 10.0 / 10 • Permalink
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Season 4, Episode 8: "Juliet Doesn't Live Here Anymore"
Blair: What if I need to go through sex rehab like Jesse James?
• Rating: 9.6 / 10 • Permalink
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Blair: [to Serena] Do you forget what happens to you on vacation? There's a reason you never get a tan line.
• Rating: 10.0 / 10 • Permalink
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Blair: It's just your ordinary, run of the mill ex sex, fueled by the most common of aphrodisiacs: mutual loathing and disdain.
Serena: May I remind you that those are both feelings?
• Rating: 8.5 / 10 • Permalink
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Blair: Okay, it's just sex, and a one-time thing at that! Or, maybe a five-time thing. Or, let's be honest, I've lost count how many times.
• Rating: 10.0 / 10 • Permalink
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Juliet: Nate, this isn't me. You know that.
Nate: How would I ever believe anything you say again?
Blair: Well you can believe the part where she does her own hair.
• Rating: 10.0 / 10 • Permalink
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Chuck: [to Juliet] Your obsession with Serena has grown tiresome.
Blair: [also to Juliet] Just because you have no money and delusions of grandeur does not make it okay for you to be a single white trash female.
• Rating: 10.0 / 10 • Permalink
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Chuck: If I could say something. I for one can fully corroborate Miss Waldorf's story. She was indeed having an affair with Professor Forrester. I know this because I keep tabs on everyone Blair sees and talks to, due to my insatiable jealousy. Though she did state something to the effect that he didn't quite satisfy her like I used to.
Blair: It's true.
• Rating: 10.0 / 10 • Permalink
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Blair: Why would I jeopardize my college career by lying? So go ahead, fire Colin. Oh wait! He already quit. So let's just go in and enjoy some jeté. Allegro.
• Rating: 9.3 / 10 • Permalink
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